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They Call Me “B-Mom”
It’s the best title I have besides “Mom”.
I do not like the words “stepmom, stepson, stepdaughter, stepsister, or stepbrother.” They feel like they carry a negative tone. “Wicked stepmother” crosses my mind frequently, and I have never been interested in fulfilling that stereotype.
My partner and I shared a conversation about our feelings regarding the phrase “stepmom.” During this discussion, I decided, “I want to be considered a bonus mom. It just sounds a lot nicer than stepmom. And your children will be my bonus kids.”
He was pleased with my train of thought and happily accepted that. I’ll never forget when my partner told his two children that I wanted to call them my bonus kids. He said, “She doesn’t view you as a “step” because that sounds not-so-nice. She decided you’re her bonus kids because she didn’t know she was going to get two more, so you guys are her major bonus.”
I didn’t realize it would end up meaning so much to them, because after a short while, his two children started calling me “B-Mom.” I get to hear it every day:
- ”Hey, B-Mom!”
- “Earlier, I heard B-Mom say…”
- “Dad, tell B-Mom what you told me in the car.”
And other sorts of mentions, of course.
I never hear my first name — just B-Mom.
Nothing may be better than this type of love from children I did not have the pleasure to give birth to. This bond we have that allows such an honorable name for me makes me feel worthy of everything in this world. Loving my biological kids is one incredibly special bond, but as a bonus mom, I’ve gotten a whole new type of love from two more wonderful children. There is nothing better than the amount of love I’m shown regularly.
I am so lucky to have all of them.
